uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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