found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
