I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
