i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize