She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
