He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
how drunk are you?
Several
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
