If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
