I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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