funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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