Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's blow job season.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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