white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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