I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
