Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I didn't notice because vodka
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
