Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
