Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
