She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize