i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
please come you make the beer taste better
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
