why do cheetos always look like penises
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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