This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
