bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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