i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
