Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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