Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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