there was a trapeze. enough said
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
