o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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