This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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