I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
