so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
its not stalking. its research.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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