OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
