This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
