if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
