he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
