I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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