when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
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Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
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also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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