He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
