belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
