I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
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someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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