just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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