guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
