it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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