I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
