3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
