Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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