I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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