I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
