Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Its about making memories worth repressing
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
