Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
