I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
