i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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