She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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