definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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