I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
