He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
