i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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