i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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