i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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