You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
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