A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Green mimosas i think yes
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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