guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
